"Fine", I said finally. I'll do it, but you need to promise me that in the end I will get a huge candy or something like that."
"you got it!" susan smiled and raped up our conversation:
"don’t forget you can call me when things get difficult."
The house was empty when I got in, nick was at work and I was able to think about the whole thing. You can't imagine how I felt. I felt horrible because I knew that I agreed to something who might be beyond me, but I also felt vary hopeful because susan offered me hope, a way to keep my marriage forever and I really wanted that – but was I willing to pay the prize?
I wanted to talk about it with nick as soon as he got home but the minute he came in I saw that something happened.
"What's wrong?"
"do you remember the promotion I thought I was going to get?"
"don’t tell me that someone else got it!"
Nick nodded and looked so miserable and I just had to give him a hug in spite if the promise I made earlier. I hugged him and didn’t go until he promised me that he was going to be o.k. than I made us coffee and we sat on the sofa to rest together a little bit.
Usually I start talking the minute we meet – it always at the end of the day and I have so much to tell him, but that day I didn’t know where to start so I just sat down, staring at my coffee.
"it's my turn now…what's wrong?"
"I was at Susan's today. She explained everything to me and it actually sounded pretty logical, but…"
Nick wanted to hear every detail about the meeting so I told him everything. When I was done I looked at him and saw a wired expression on his face.
"don’t worry, it's not to late to tell her we are not doing this", I reached for the phone but nick stopped me.
"no, I want to try this."
"but…you looked…I thought that…"
"i looked wired just because this is all so new to me. But it sounds right, don’t you think?"
"I think that it would be very difficult for you not to touch me two weeks."(as you read it try to imagine a tall brunet woman using her lowest voice and using her sexiest gesture)
Nick smiled in light of my efforts but he was determined.
"you got it!" susan smiled and raped up our conversation:
"don’t forget you can call me when things get difficult."
The house was empty when I got in, nick was at work and I was able to think about the whole thing. You can't imagine how I felt. I felt horrible because I knew that I agreed to something who might be beyond me, but I also felt vary hopeful because susan offered me hope, a way to keep my marriage forever and I really wanted that – but was I willing to pay the prize?
I wanted to talk about it with nick as soon as he got home but the minute he came in I saw that something happened.
"What's wrong?"
"do you remember the promotion I thought I was going to get?"
"don’t tell me that someone else got it!"
Nick nodded and looked so miserable and I just had to give him a hug in spite if the promise I made earlier. I hugged him and didn’t go until he promised me that he was going to be o.k. than I made us coffee and we sat on the sofa to rest together a little bit.
Usually I start talking the minute we meet – it always at the end of the day and I have so much to tell him, but that day I didn’t know where to start so I just sat down, staring at my coffee.
"it's my turn now…what's wrong?"
"I was at Susan's today. She explained everything to me and it actually sounded pretty logical, but…"
Nick wanted to hear every detail about the meeting so I told him everything. When I was done I looked at him and saw a wired expression on his face.
"don’t worry, it's not to late to tell her we are not doing this", I reached for the phone but nick stopped me.
"no, I want to try this."
"but…you looked…I thought that…"
"i looked wired just because this is all so new to me. But it sounds right, don’t you think?"
"I think that it would be very difficult for you not to touch me two weeks."(as you read it try to imagine a tall brunet woman using her lowest voice and using her sexiest gesture)
Nick smiled in light of my efforts but he was determined.
"I have to know, are you the one who is responsible for the three lasagnas I got the other day?
"bingo", smiled susan.
"I knew that! may I ask why do you want to see me puking??" I was only half joking…
"I was making a point." Susans' smile got wider when she saw my confusion.
"you see, most of the people who hear about my method for the first time react just like you did, so I need to use special methods if I want to be heard."
"I see. So what point were you trying to make?"
"in our first appointment I told you that there were love rules. Here is one of them that's related to our last meeting: listen carefully because the following sentence can change your relationship completely: every physical experience looses its' power after a certain amount of time." Let me ask you, when you saw the second lasagna, did you want to eat it like you wanted to eat the first one?"
"no. I mean – it was tasty and all, but if you told me that I needed to wait until the next day to eat it would have been o.k."
"and what happened when you saw the third lasagna?" continued susan.
"as I told you before, I wanted to puke. but I think that I know what you are getting at: you are saying that even though I like eating lasagna I got tiered of it when I ate too much, and that its just like the physical part of my relationship."
"correct, this is exactly my point".
"well, I have to say that I disagree with you."
"I thought you would. Tell me, what point exactly you disagree of?"
"I agree with you about the physical experience rule. You cant argue about the fact that something that you do a lot will bore you. But I don’t agree with the comparison that you did, between every physical experience and intimacy. It doesn’t sound right! Sex is not just a physical aspect, its also a spiritual one!
"I completely agree with you," said susan. But what is it more, physically or spiritually?"
"physically", I admitted.
"I want you to remember your first kiss ever," continued susan. "how was it?
"disgusting actually." I quivered. "I don’t want to bore you with details but let's say that is wasn’t the most pleasant experience in the world."
"good", smiled susan. (at that point I asked myself whether she understood what I said) "and can you tell me about your first kiss with nick?"
"now you are talking!" it was grate – it was in our second date and we went for a walk on the beach…"
"sounds nice, and can you tell me about the tenth time you kissed?"
It took me a little time to figure out that I couldn’t remember where was our tenth kiss.
"you see, most of the time we remember our 'first' – our first kiss, the first time we are intimate with someone and so on. But all the other experiences are a blur – because we get used to it. We are not as exited as we were in our first times."
"I agree, I can't compare the grate feeling I had when nick and I kissed for the first time to what we have now. I mean, I like it when he kisses me but it's not the same. But I disagree with you, I don’t think that your method is the solution for that."
"explain why", susan leaned towards me and I could see that she felt that if she could convince me now I would give her method a shot.
"because there is no way I will be able to avoid touching nick for two weeks every month."
"I agree with you that it's hard – really hard. But the question is do you choose to build your relationship for the short term or the long term? if you choose to try this method you will have two difficult weeks, but you will gain a renewal of your attraction every month, and this is something that most of the couples will never have!
In addition, your time with nick will be a lot more powerful, just like the first time you've met."
I was still hesitating and susan understood that I had to decide right then – or I would never be able to do that.
"this is where you decide, michelle. If you say yes you will go home and try if it works for you. If not – we are going to end this meeting now, go home and you will keep living your life just like you lived them until now."
I opened my mouth to say something but I couldn’t - my mind was a total blank. I'm usually a fast decision maker and this is the first time something like that happened to me. You can imagine my confusion!
"it's an adventure," said susan softly. "try it, what can happen?"
"bingo", smiled susan.
"I knew that! may I ask why do you want to see me puking??" I was only half joking…
"I was making a point." Susans' smile got wider when she saw my confusion.
"you see, most of the people who hear about my method for the first time react just like you did, so I need to use special methods if I want to be heard."
"I see. So what point were you trying to make?"
"in our first appointment I told you that there were love rules. Here is one of them that's related to our last meeting: listen carefully because the following sentence can change your relationship completely: every physical experience looses its' power after a certain amount of time." Let me ask you, when you saw the second lasagna, did you want to eat it like you wanted to eat the first one?"
"no. I mean – it was tasty and all, but if you told me that I needed to wait until the next day to eat it would have been o.k."
"and what happened when you saw the third lasagna?" continued susan.
"as I told you before, I wanted to puke. but I think that I know what you are getting at: you are saying that even though I like eating lasagna I got tiered of it when I ate too much, and that its just like the physical part of my relationship."
"correct, this is exactly my point".
"well, I have to say that I disagree with you."
"I thought you would. Tell me, what point exactly you disagree of?"
"I agree with you about the physical experience rule. You cant argue about the fact that something that you do a lot will bore you. But I don’t agree with the comparison that you did, between every physical experience and intimacy. It doesn’t sound right! Sex is not just a physical aspect, its also a spiritual one!
"I completely agree with you," said susan. But what is it more, physically or spiritually?"
"physically", I admitted.
"I want you to remember your first kiss ever," continued susan. "how was it?
"disgusting actually." I quivered. "I don’t want to bore you with details but let's say that is wasn’t the most pleasant experience in the world."
"good", smiled susan. (at that point I asked myself whether she understood what I said) "and can you tell me about your first kiss with nick?"
"now you are talking!" it was grate – it was in our second date and we went for a walk on the beach…"
"sounds nice, and can you tell me about the tenth time you kissed?"
It took me a little time to figure out that I couldn’t remember where was our tenth kiss.
"you see, most of the time we remember our 'first' – our first kiss, the first time we are intimate with someone and so on. But all the other experiences are a blur – because we get used to it. We are not as exited as we were in our first times."
"I agree, I can't compare the grate feeling I had when nick and I kissed for the first time to what we have now. I mean, I like it when he kisses me but it's not the same. But I disagree with you, I don’t think that your method is the solution for that."
"explain why", susan leaned towards me and I could see that she felt that if she could convince me now I would give her method a shot.
"because there is no way I will be able to avoid touching nick for two weeks every month."
"I agree with you that it's hard – really hard. But the question is do you choose to build your relationship for the short term or the long term? if you choose to try this method you will have two difficult weeks, but you will gain a renewal of your attraction every month, and this is something that most of the couples will never have!
In addition, your time with nick will be a lot more powerful, just like the first time you've met."
I was still hesitating and susan understood that I had to decide right then – or I would never be able to do that.
"this is where you decide, michelle. If you say yes you will go home and try if it works for you. If not – we are going to end this meeting now, go home and you will keep living your life just like you lived them until now."
I opened my mouth to say something but I couldn’t - my mind was a total blank. I'm usually a fast decision maker and this is the first time something like that happened to me. You can imagine my confusion!
"it's an adventure," said susan softly. "try it, what can happen?"
When I got home nick was watching a baseball game on t.v. I came to him and stood right in front of him, blocking the game. He looked up, saw my face and asked immediately:
"what happened?"
"here is what happened: that woman - which I don’t know how she can call herself a relationship therapist – suggested that we stop touching each other!"
As I expected, nick turned off the t.v. and gave me his full attention now:
"what are you talking about?"
"as I told you, susan thinks that in order to renew our love and attraction towards each other we need to avoid hugging, kissing, and I'm not even talking about sex – for two weeks each month!"
"but how is it going to help us? Isn't it going to make things even harder?"
"that’s exactly what I said! Well, I didn’t actually said it…" I finished, starting to feel dab because of the way I left the restaurant.
"no, you didn’t!" said nick.
"yes, I did."
"no, you didn’t!!' said nick again
"yes, I did, and I'm not proud of it so stop saying that please!"
"I understand why you think that it's a strange idea, I think so too, but why did you leave? You could stay and find out why she thinks it's a good idea!"
"I know," I admitted, "I should have stayed. But I couldn’t help it – the idea of not touching you for two weeks made me sick. What if I was sad because of some reason and I needed a hug?"
"I know," said nick softly, "but can it hurt to listen to her? We don’t have to do as she says if we don’t agree with her."
"I know, but…"
"come on," added nick when he saw that I wasn’t convinced yet, "you read all kind of stuff and you consider yourself as a person who opened to others' people opinion, so why is this subject different?'
"fine, I give up! I will call her tomorrow."
"good!" said nick. He turned on the t.v, meaning to return to his game, but then he saw the bag I was holding.
"hey, did you bring me something from the restaurant?"
"I wish I could say that I did", I answered while opening the bag, "but I didn’t – the waiter gave it to me before I left and I wanted so much to get out of there that I didn’t stopped to ask what it was. He probably confused me with…"
I stopped talking when I saw what was in the bag: it was another lasagna, still hot and steaming.
"o.k, that’s it! I have to know what is this thing with the lasagnas!"
"what thing?" asked nick.
"when I was in the restaurant I ordered lasagna, and when I finished it the waiter gave me another one, without me asking. And now this!"
"you can ask her tomorrow about that. are you going to eat that?" he asked, pointing at the lasagna.
"no," I said, handing him the lasagna. "please take it from me – if I see anymore lasagnas I'll puke."
"what happened?"
"here is what happened: that woman - which I don’t know how she can call herself a relationship therapist – suggested that we stop touching each other!"
As I expected, nick turned off the t.v. and gave me his full attention now:
"what are you talking about?"
"as I told you, susan thinks that in order to renew our love and attraction towards each other we need to avoid hugging, kissing, and I'm not even talking about sex – for two weeks each month!"
"but how is it going to help us? Isn't it going to make things even harder?"
"that’s exactly what I said! Well, I didn’t actually said it…" I finished, starting to feel dab because of the way I left the restaurant.
"no, you didn’t!" said nick.
"yes, I did."
"no, you didn’t!!' said nick again
"yes, I did, and I'm not proud of it so stop saying that please!"
"I understand why you think that it's a strange idea, I think so too, but why did you leave? You could stay and find out why she thinks it's a good idea!"
"I know," I admitted, "I should have stayed. But I couldn’t help it – the idea of not touching you for two weeks made me sick. What if I was sad because of some reason and I needed a hug?"
"I know," said nick softly, "but can it hurt to listen to her? We don’t have to do as she says if we don’t agree with her."
"I know, but…"
"come on," added nick when he saw that I wasn’t convinced yet, "you read all kind of stuff and you consider yourself as a person who opened to others' people opinion, so why is this subject different?'
"fine, I give up! I will call her tomorrow."
"good!" said nick. He turned on the t.v, meaning to return to his game, but then he saw the bag I was holding.
"hey, did you bring me something from the restaurant?"
"I wish I could say that I did", I answered while opening the bag, "but I didn’t – the waiter gave it to me before I left and I wanted so much to get out of there that I didn’t stopped to ask what it was. He probably confused me with…"
I stopped talking when I saw what was in the bag: it was another lasagna, still hot and steaming.
"o.k, that’s it! I have to know what is this thing with the lasagnas!"
"what thing?" asked nick.
"when I was in the restaurant I ordered lasagna, and when I finished it the waiter gave me another one, without me asking. And now this!"
"you can ask her tomorrow about that. are you going to eat that?" he asked, pointing at the lasagna.
"no," I said, handing him the lasagna. "please take it from me – if I see anymore lasagnas I'll puke."
Susan insisted on having our next appointment at a restaurant. Grate, I love an environment change!
I got there a little early and I was sure I was going to wait for her but there she was, talking to the waiter. When they saw me they stopped talking immediately and susan hurried towards me, showing me our table. (I still can't believe that I didn’t understand that she was planning something)
We sat at the table and the waiter came immediately near our table.
Susan ordered a salad and I asked for my favorite, lasagna. The waiter left our table and we were able to relax and enjoy a nice conversation.
Susan was the one to start talking: "listen to a story about a famous kindergarten: a group of four years old was given marshmallows – every kid got one marshmallow. They were told that they could eat the marshmallow right away but if they wait twenty minute before they eat they would get another one. Of course, some of the kids couldn’t help it and they ate their marshmallow. But some of them waited. When the researchers followed those kids into their future they found out that the ones that waited did a lot better in life than the others."
She stopped talking because the waiter came to the table with our food so she waited until he left and than she said asked me what did I think that she had told me the story.
"I honestly don’t know. I mean, I think that this story wants to tell us about the importance of delaying gratification but I don’t understand how this is related to me."
"its simple. What if I told you that the whole world behaves just like the kid who takes the marshmallow and eat it the moment he gets it, and this is why long term relationships are so hard?"
"I would ask you to explain to me what you are talking about", I smiled, taking another bite from my delicious lasagna.
"You see", she continued, "this story relates straight to your problem because it can help you renew your attraction every ones in a while and even when you are married a grate deal of time you will feel almost like you have just met him."
I opened my mouth to answer her but before I could do that I saw the waiter coming to our table holding another lasagna
"Kathy, the owner, noticed that you enjoyed your lasagna very much so she sent you another one, on the house." He put the plate on the table and left before I could say a thing. I probably looked shocked because susan shrugged her shoulder, saying that the owner likes to do that any ones in a while, especially when she sees a new client.
"so what's the catch?" I asked her. 'I mean, if it was so perfect everybody would do it, right?"
"this is not completely true, because this method expect you to be one of the kids that waited. And most of the people don’t like delaying gratification."
At this point I lost my patience and asked her to tell me what method she was talking about.
"o.k…", she said and I leaned towards her without even noticing. "…here it is: you will not touch your fiancé from now on until your wedding night. And after that you will not touch each other for two weeks every month. And I’m not even talking about having sex. I'm talking about a simple hug or a kiss."
I couldn’t believe it! This woman was telling me that if I wanted to stay in love with my fiancé, my future husband, I would have to avoid touching him for two weeks every month!
From my experience, the most relationship – challenging days were the days that me and nick slept separately because of his work. There was no way I was going to do that to us willingly. Than I did something that I'm not really proud of: I got up and left. But before I could leave the restaurant the waiter did something wired: he handed me a beg with something hot in it.
"For the road', he said.
I just took the bag and left, feeling stupid. How could I believe that woman?
Article number 3: the number 1 secret for making the intimacy in your relationship even better!
Manny people who are in a long term relationship feel that even though they have a good relationship, something is still missing. Everybody knows that after a while you get used to your partner. It doesn’t mean off course that you can't have fun with him, but the butterfly feeling is gone - forever. (just like happened to them)
Is that true?
Well, not exactly. If you use this method you will be able to bring back the butterfly feeling, forever!
Here is what you need to do: each month, you and your partner will decide that you can't do something: like hugging, kissing or anything else you choose. You determine a time frame and you don’t back up, no matter how hard this is!
When the time comes and you will be able to do that thing again, you will feel like it is the first time you do it! Just imagine – having again a first kiss, after five years of marriage
I got there a little early and I was sure I was going to wait for her but there she was, talking to the waiter. When they saw me they stopped talking immediately and susan hurried towards me, showing me our table. (I still can't believe that I didn’t understand that she was planning something)
We sat at the table and the waiter came immediately near our table.
Susan ordered a salad and I asked for my favorite, lasagna. The waiter left our table and we were able to relax and enjoy a nice conversation.
Susan was the one to start talking: "listen to a story about a famous kindergarten: a group of four years old was given marshmallows – every kid got one marshmallow. They were told that they could eat the marshmallow right away but if they wait twenty minute before they eat they would get another one. Of course, some of the kids couldn’t help it and they ate their marshmallow. But some of them waited. When the researchers followed those kids into their future they found out that the ones that waited did a lot better in life than the others."
She stopped talking because the waiter came to the table with our food so she waited until he left and than she said asked me what did I think that she had told me the story.
"I honestly don’t know. I mean, I think that this story wants to tell us about the importance of delaying gratification but I don’t understand how this is related to me."
"its simple. What if I told you that the whole world behaves just like the kid who takes the marshmallow and eat it the moment he gets it, and this is why long term relationships are so hard?"
"I would ask you to explain to me what you are talking about", I smiled, taking another bite from my delicious lasagna.
"You see", she continued, "this story relates straight to your problem because it can help you renew your attraction every ones in a while and even when you are married a grate deal of time you will feel almost like you have just met him."
I opened my mouth to answer her but before I could do that I saw the waiter coming to our table holding another lasagna
"Kathy, the owner, noticed that you enjoyed your lasagna very much so she sent you another one, on the house." He put the plate on the table and left before I could say a thing. I probably looked shocked because susan shrugged her shoulder, saying that the owner likes to do that any ones in a while, especially when she sees a new client.
"so what's the catch?" I asked her. 'I mean, if it was so perfect everybody would do it, right?"
"this is not completely true, because this method expect you to be one of the kids that waited. And most of the people don’t like delaying gratification."
At this point I lost my patience and asked her to tell me what method she was talking about.
"o.k…", she said and I leaned towards her without even noticing. "…here it is: you will not touch your fiancé from now on until your wedding night. And after that you will not touch each other for two weeks every month. And I’m not even talking about having sex. I'm talking about a simple hug or a kiss."
I couldn’t believe it! This woman was telling me that if I wanted to stay in love with my fiancé, my future husband, I would have to avoid touching him for two weeks every month!
From my experience, the most relationship – challenging days were the days that me and nick slept separately because of his work. There was no way I was going to do that to us willingly. Than I did something that I'm not really proud of: I got up and left. But before I could leave the restaurant the waiter did something wired: he handed me a beg with something hot in it.
"For the road', he said.
I just took the bag and left, feeling stupid. How could I believe that woman?
Article number 3: the number 1 secret for making the intimacy in your relationship even better!
Manny people who are in a long term relationship feel that even though they have a good relationship, something is still missing. Everybody knows that after a while you get used to your partner. It doesn’t mean off course that you can't have fun with him, but the butterfly feeling is gone - forever. (just like happened to them)
Is that true?
Well, not exactly. If you use this method you will be able to bring back the butterfly feeling, forever!
Here is what you need to do: each month, you and your partner will decide that you can't do something: like hugging, kissing or anything else you choose. You determine a time frame and you don’t back up, no matter how hard this is!
When the time comes and you will be able to do that thing again, you will feel like it is the first time you do it! Just imagine – having again a first kiss, after five years of marriage
I have got to admit that when I picked up the phone to call susan I felt that I was wasting my time. But nick was very worried about me and pushed me to call her, so I did.
But when I sat in the chare against her it was so embarrassing that I felt sorry that I called at all or at least canceled the meeting.
"so when are you getting married?" susan asked, breaking the silence.
"in three months. In fact that’s why I called - I'm having some fears, some doubts.
"you are not sure that you want to marry your fiancé"?
'Not exactly…I love my fiancé but I'm just not so sure I can marry him. I mean…its not him, I'm just not sure that I can marry" I felt that the more I explained my self the more I became less clear. "I feel like its impossible to get married and stay happy together – it seems like everybody is getting divorced. I just don’t want to find myself thirty or forty years old and alone." Susan looked like she knew exactly what I was talking about and I was going to learn why…
"many people come to me with this question asking me for an advice. I, myself know exactly what you are talking about – I got divorced five years ago..."
I couldn’t believe it – I was asking for love advice from a woman that got divorced!
…"but from that divorce I have learned more than i learned in my twenty years of marriage."
"so what do you say? Do you have a way to help me and nick staying married forever?" ( I admit – I was a little cynical but I just couldn’t help it. It all sounded so ridiculous!)
"Of course not"! smiled susan. What i'm about to tell you has the power to change your love life completely, but I can't guaranty anything – it depends on you." I probably looked skeptical because she added:
"you see, the way I see it – love has a certain rules. You can change your love by following them, and you can choose not to believe me and ignore them."
"What do you mean by saying that love has certain rules? What if I don’t believe that?"
"Why not? The nature has rules, is it so impossible that the human nature has it's own rules?"
i never thought about that!
"I guess you could be right", I admitted, "but how do I know that for sure?'
"you don’t have to take my word for it", she said immediately. "here is what you are going to do: every week we will talk about another rule. Every week you will come home to nick and test the love rules. You won't have to believe me – you will see for yourself."
At this point she stopped talking and waited for my answer. I withdraw into myself had with myself the following debate:
Me: "come on…everybody know that love doesn’t have rules… just tell her that you are very busy and go home."
Myself: "you maybe right. Its possible that she doesn’t know what she is talking about, but what if she does? Are you willing to through away a potentially grate love advice?"
'o.k", I said slowly, "lets do that. lets hear the secret that can change my life forever."
"good!" she smiled. "but it's getting late. Let's talk about it our next appointment."
A week after that I understood why she couldn’t telling me about the first love rule right away – she prepared a very special method to illustrate her point. I was about to get really surprised!
But when I sat in the chare against her it was so embarrassing that I felt sorry that I called at all or at least canceled the meeting.
"so when are you getting married?" susan asked, breaking the silence.
"in three months. In fact that’s why I called - I'm having some fears, some doubts.
"you are not sure that you want to marry your fiancé"?
'Not exactly…I love my fiancé but I'm just not so sure I can marry him. I mean…its not him, I'm just not sure that I can marry" I felt that the more I explained my self the more I became less clear. "I feel like its impossible to get married and stay happy together – it seems like everybody is getting divorced. I just don’t want to find myself thirty or forty years old and alone." Susan looked like she knew exactly what I was talking about and I was going to learn why…
"many people come to me with this question asking me for an advice. I, myself know exactly what you are talking about – I got divorced five years ago..."
I couldn’t believe it – I was asking for love advice from a woman that got divorced!
…"but from that divorce I have learned more than i learned in my twenty years of marriage."
"so what do you say? Do you have a way to help me and nick staying married forever?" ( I admit – I was a little cynical but I just couldn’t help it. It all sounded so ridiculous!)
"Of course not"! smiled susan. What i'm about to tell you has the power to change your love life completely, but I can't guaranty anything – it depends on you." I probably looked skeptical because she added:
"you see, the way I see it – love has a certain rules. You can change your love by following them, and you can choose not to believe me and ignore them."
"What do you mean by saying that love has certain rules? What if I don’t believe that?"
"Why not? The nature has rules, is it so impossible that the human nature has it's own rules?"
i never thought about that!
"I guess you could be right", I admitted, "but how do I know that for sure?'
"you don’t have to take my word for it", she said immediately. "here is what you are going to do: every week we will talk about another rule. Every week you will come home to nick and test the love rules. You won't have to believe me – you will see for yourself."
At this point she stopped talking and waited for my answer. I withdraw into myself had with myself the following debate:
Me: "come on…everybody know that love doesn’t have rules… just tell her that you are very busy and go home."
Myself: "you maybe right. Its possible that she doesn’t know what she is talking about, but what if she does? Are you willing to through away a potentially grate love advice?"
'o.k", I said slowly, "lets do that. lets hear the secret that can change my life forever."
"good!" she smiled. "but it's getting late. Let's talk about it our next appointment."
A week after that I understood why she couldn’t telling me about the first love rule right away – she prepared a very special method to illustrate her point. I was about to get really surprised!
In the next posts I'm going to tell you the story that’s going to change your love life. How do I know that? Because it changed mine. the woman I will tell you about made me understand that having a good relationship is a matter of understanding the love rules and following them. The problem is that no one tells us what the love rules are or worse – they teach us the wrong rules – the ones that lead us to horrible dates, choosing the wrong partners, staying in a bad relationships and hurt breaking breakups.
I want to teach you everything she taught me: .how to build your relationship correctly from the start so it will become a long term relationship? What is real intimacy and how to get it? And a lot more. Are you interested in making your love life a lot better? Keep reading.
Just one word of apology: I wish I could tell you the whole story right away but unfortunately I would have to stop sometimes, because I have finals now and I'm going to have to devote some time to them. But I promise – when I fill sick of studding I will be right hear, writing the next part of my story.
Listen to this story I heard once:
an old lady told her husband one day that her leg hurt so much that she could barely walk. When they sat in the doctors' office the husband said:
"Doctor, our leg hurts".
Beautiful, This man loved his wife so much that he felt like it was his leg that hurt!
When I first heard this story I was amazed by it. This kind of relationship was always my goal – I wanted to get old with my husband and stay in love with him forever. I'm still hoping to achieve that goal but now, as opposed to my childish point of view, I know that it is not like a fairy tale: meeting a guy, falling in love, getting married and stay in love forever. There are so many obstacles standing in the way of this dream.
Well, lucky me. I got to have a very special mentor. I met her a few months before I got married and I can't be grateful enough that I did because she had a very unique marriage advice for me. In fact, it was a lot more than a marriage advice, it was a whole doctrine.
Three months before I got married me and my fiancé went to our favorite coffee house to relax a little bit. I was very nervous at that time – not only because of all the preparations to the wedding but mainly because I felt like I was doing the biggest mistake of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my fiancé and wanted to live with him fore ever, but I couldn’t stop thinking: "what if"?
What if some day, far into the future, I wouldn’t feel that I love him anymore?""
What if he would stop loving me?""
"What if we don’t find each other attractive anymore?"
The last question bothered me the most. our relationship was very passionate at the time but I knew, from personal experience and other's people experience that after a while couples have a tendency to get used to each other. I was terrified that it was going to happen to us. I didn’t want to live without passion!
As I was telling all of that to nick ( my fiancé), I saw a woman starring at me. When she noticed that I had seen her looking at me she smiled, looking a little embarrassed.
"I'm sorry..." she said. "I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation (we were sitting pretty far but whatever) and I think I know some one who can help you. Are you interested?
"yes, she is interested", answered nick and took the paper with the phone number on it she handed him. The next day I called that number and two days after that I met susan.
I want to teach you everything she taught me: .how to build your relationship correctly from the start so it will become a long term relationship? What is real intimacy and how to get it? And a lot more. Are you interested in making your love life a lot better? Keep reading.
Just one word of apology: I wish I could tell you the whole story right away but unfortunately I would have to stop sometimes, because I have finals now and I'm going to have to devote some time to them. But I promise – when I fill sick of studding I will be right hear, writing the next part of my story.
Listen to this story I heard once:
an old lady told her husband one day that her leg hurt so much that she could barely walk. When they sat in the doctors' office the husband said:
"Doctor, our leg hurts".
Beautiful, This man loved his wife so much that he felt like it was his leg that hurt!
When I first heard this story I was amazed by it. This kind of relationship was always my goal – I wanted to get old with my husband and stay in love with him forever. I'm still hoping to achieve that goal but now, as opposed to my childish point of view, I know that it is not like a fairy tale: meeting a guy, falling in love, getting married and stay in love forever. There are so many obstacles standing in the way of this dream.
Well, lucky me. I got to have a very special mentor. I met her a few months before I got married and I can't be grateful enough that I did because she had a very unique marriage advice for me. In fact, it was a lot more than a marriage advice, it was a whole doctrine.
Three months before I got married me and my fiancé went to our favorite coffee house to relax a little bit. I was very nervous at that time – not only because of all the preparations to the wedding but mainly because I felt like I was doing the biggest mistake of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my fiancé and wanted to live with him fore ever, but I couldn’t stop thinking: "what if"?
What if some day, far into the future, I wouldn’t feel that I love him anymore?""
What if he would stop loving me?""
"What if we don’t find each other attractive anymore?"
The last question bothered me the most. our relationship was very passionate at the time but I knew, from personal experience and other's people experience that after a while couples have a tendency to get used to each other. I was terrified that it was going to happen to us. I didn’t want to live without passion!
As I was telling all of that to nick ( my fiancé), I saw a woman starring at me. When she noticed that I had seen her looking at me she smiled, looking a little embarrassed.
"I'm sorry..." she said. "I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation (we were sitting pretty far but whatever) and I think I know some one who can help you. Are you interested?
"yes, she is interested", answered nick and took the paper with the phone number on it she handed him. The next day I called that number and two days after that I met susan.