Susan insisted on having our next appointment at a restaurant. Grate, I love an environment change!
I got there a little early and I was sure I was going to wait for her but there she was, talking to the waiter. When they saw me they stopped talking immediately and susan hurried towards me, showing me our table. (I still can't believe that I didn’t understand that she was planning something)
We sat at the table and the waiter came immediately near our table.
Susan ordered a salad and I asked for my favorite, lasagna. The waiter left our table and we were able to relax and enjoy a nice conversation.
Susan was the one to start talking: "listen to a story about a famous kindergarten: a group of four years old was given marshmallows – every kid got one marshmallow. They were told that they could eat the marshmallow right away but if they wait twenty minute before they eat they would get another one. Of course, some of the kids couldn’t help it and they ate their marshmallow. But some of them waited. When the researchers followed those kids into their future they found out that the ones that waited did a lot better in life than the others."
She stopped talking because the waiter came to the table with our food so she waited until he left and than she said asked me what did I think that she had told me the story.
"I honestly don’t know. I mean, I think that this story wants to tell us about the importance of delaying gratification but I don’t understand how this is related to me."
"its simple. What if I told you that the whole world behaves just like the kid who takes the marshmallow and eat it the moment he gets it, and this is why long term relationships are so hard?"
"I would ask you to explain to me what you are talking about", I smiled, taking another bite from my delicious lasagna.
"You see", she continued, "this story relates straight to your problem because it can help you renew your attraction every ones in a while and even when you are married a grate deal of time you will feel almost like you have just met him."
I opened my mouth to answer her but before I could do that I saw the waiter coming to our table holding another lasagna
"Kathy, the owner, noticed that you enjoyed your lasagna very much so she sent you another one, on the house." He put the plate on the table and left before I could say a thing. I probably looked shocked because susan shrugged her shoulder, saying that the owner likes to do that any ones in a while, especially when she sees a new client.
"so what's the catch?" I asked her. 'I mean, if it was so perfect everybody would do it, right?"
"this is not completely true, because this method expect you to be one of the kids that waited. And most of the people don’t like delaying gratification."
At this point I lost my patience and asked her to tell me what method she was talking about.
"o.k…", she said and I leaned towards her without even noticing. "…here it is: you will not touch your fiancé from now on until your wedding night. And after that you will not touch each other for two weeks every month. And I’m not even talking about having sex. I'm talking about a simple hug or a kiss."
I couldn’t believe it! This woman was telling me that if I wanted to stay in love with my fiancé, my future husband, I would have to avoid touching him for two weeks every month!
From my experience, the most relationship – challenging days were the days that me and nick slept separately because of his work. There was no way I was going to do that to us willingly. Than I did something that I'm not really proud of: I got up and left. But before I could leave the restaurant the waiter did something wired: he handed me a beg with something hot in it.
"For the road', he said.
I just took the bag and left, feeling stupid. How could I believe that woman?
Article number 3: the number 1 secret for making the intimacy in your relationship even better!
Manny people who are in a long term relationship feel that even though they have a good relationship, something is still missing. Everybody knows that after a while you get used to your partner. It doesn’t mean off course that you can't have fun with him, but the butterfly feeling is gone - forever. (just like happened to them)
Is that true?
Well, not exactly. If you use this method you will be able to bring back the butterfly feeling, forever!
Here is what you need to do: each month, you and your partner will decide that you can't do something: like hugging, kissing or anything else you choose. You determine a time frame and you don’t back up, no matter how hard this is!
When the time comes and you will be able to do that thing again, you will feel like it is the first time you do it! Just imagine – having again a first kiss, after five years of marriage
I got there a little early and I was sure I was going to wait for her but there she was, talking to the waiter. When they saw me they stopped talking immediately and susan hurried towards me, showing me our table. (I still can't believe that I didn’t understand that she was planning something)
We sat at the table and the waiter came immediately near our table.
Susan ordered a salad and I asked for my favorite, lasagna. The waiter left our table and we were able to relax and enjoy a nice conversation.
Susan was the one to start talking: "listen to a story about a famous kindergarten: a group of four years old was given marshmallows – every kid got one marshmallow. They were told that they could eat the marshmallow right away but if they wait twenty minute before they eat they would get another one. Of course, some of the kids couldn’t help it and they ate their marshmallow. But some of them waited. When the researchers followed those kids into their future they found out that the ones that waited did a lot better in life than the others."
She stopped talking because the waiter came to the table with our food so she waited until he left and than she said asked me what did I think that she had told me the story.
"I honestly don’t know. I mean, I think that this story wants to tell us about the importance of delaying gratification but I don’t understand how this is related to me."
"its simple. What if I told you that the whole world behaves just like the kid who takes the marshmallow and eat it the moment he gets it, and this is why long term relationships are so hard?"
"I would ask you to explain to me what you are talking about", I smiled, taking another bite from my delicious lasagna.
"You see", she continued, "this story relates straight to your problem because it can help you renew your attraction every ones in a while and even when you are married a grate deal of time you will feel almost like you have just met him."
I opened my mouth to answer her but before I could do that I saw the waiter coming to our table holding another lasagna
"Kathy, the owner, noticed that you enjoyed your lasagna very much so she sent you another one, on the house." He put the plate on the table and left before I could say a thing. I probably looked shocked because susan shrugged her shoulder, saying that the owner likes to do that any ones in a while, especially when she sees a new client.
"so what's the catch?" I asked her. 'I mean, if it was so perfect everybody would do it, right?"
"this is not completely true, because this method expect you to be one of the kids that waited. And most of the people don’t like delaying gratification."
At this point I lost my patience and asked her to tell me what method she was talking about.
"o.k…", she said and I leaned towards her without even noticing. "…here it is: you will not touch your fiancé from now on until your wedding night. And after that you will not touch each other for two weeks every month. And I’m not even talking about having sex. I'm talking about a simple hug or a kiss."
I couldn’t believe it! This woman was telling me that if I wanted to stay in love with my fiancé, my future husband, I would have to avoid touching him for two weeks every month!
From my experience, the most relationship – challenging days were the days that me and nick slept separately because of his work. There was no way I was going to do that to us willingly. Than I did something that I'm not really proud of: I got up and left. But before I could leave the restaurant the waiter did something wired: he handed me a beg with something hot in it.
"For the road', he said.
I just took the bag and left, feeling stupid. How could I believe that woman?
Article number 3: the number 1 secret for making the intimacy in your relationship even better!
Manny people who are in a long term relationship feel that even though they have a good relationship, something is still missing. Everybody knows that after a while you get used to your partner. It doesn’t mean off course that you can't have fun with him, but the butterfly feeling is gone - forever. (just like happened to them)
Is that true?
Well, not exactly. If you use this method you will be able to bring back the butterfly feeling, forever!
Here is what you need to do: each month, you and your partner will decide that you can't do something: like hugging, kissing or anything else you choose. You determine a time frame and you don’t back up, no matter how hard this is!
When the time comes and you will be able to do that thing again, you will feel like it is the first time you do it! Just imagine – having again a first kiss, after five years of marriage
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